- Location: Regal Lakewood 15
- It's surprising when the best scenes in a summer superhero blockbuster are those in which the heroes are just sitting around not doing anything. There are two such scenes in Avengers: Age of Ultron, and they are the only parts of this film that I hope to remember. In one, the Avengers and friends (Robert Downey Jr., Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Don Cheadle, Cobie Smulders) are goofing around, trying to lift Thor's hammer and meeting with little success. In the other, the much-maligned Hawkeye reveals the biggest superhero secret of all, namely that he has a life outside of the Avengers. Joss Whedon has always been known as a master of clever conversations, and these two scenes lend great credit to that reputation.
- The rest of the film, unfortunately, is a confusing and clunky sequel that disappoints at nearly every opportunity. In short, Tony Stark and Bruce Banner set out to protect the world by creating an artificial intelligence named Ultron (voiced by James Spader), who almost immediately decides to turn around and annihilate humanity. His motivation? Honestly, I couldn't tell you. Through no fault of Spader's, Ultron's dialogue tends to spill out like a series of drunken ramblings, usually referencing some combination of Pinocchio, the Bible, and meteors. Much has been made of the character's suspiciously Oedipal comic book origin, but at least that version had a plan. This Ultron is evil because the movie needed a villain and they already used up Loki in the first Avengers.
- In case you were worried that the cast of that first film was too small, never fear. Gifted newcomers Wanda (Elizabeth Olsen) and Piotr Maximoff (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) battle on both sides, and there are a few new minor villains (Thomas Kretschmann, Andy Serkis) thrown in for good measure, too. The team's worthiest new addition is certainly the Vision, whose appearance late in the game finally grants Paul Bettany a chance to step onscreen. Incidentally, Thor decides to help create the Vision after taking a mid-film mystic bath that helps him to relive a dream he had while under one of Wanda's spells. So it's not just Ultron that doesn't make any sense.
- I liked the first Avengers movie less than most people and certainly far less than most comic book fans, but even I must admit that Joss Whedon's first effort was infinitely better than its sequel. Everything that the first film did poorly is amplified here. The new characters materialize primarily to fill out the rosters or to set up tie-in films. The CGI-drenched battle sequences are as visually confusing as they are perfunctory. An unconvincing love story between Black Widow and Hulk is developed for no reason whatsoever. Perhaps I can take some consolation in the fact that the end of the film introduces a team of New Avengers, because let's face it: the old Avengers kindof suck.
- Also assembling are: Samuel L. Jackson, Anthony Mackie, Hayley Atwell, Idris Elba, Josh Brolin, Linda Cardellini, Julie Delpy, Claudia Kim, Stellan Skarsgård, and your old pal, Stan Lee.
- The Thanos post-credits scene may be the most unnecessary and irrelevent scene in any of the Marvel films.
