- Willpower can be a good thing. I wish I had more of it when it comes to things like writing papers or avoiding dessert. In superhero mythology, strength of will serves as the energy source for those truly amazing power rings that allow the Green Lantern Corps to convert their thoughts into physical constructs (that also happen to be green). But then there's this other, more disagreeable side of willpower that can force things to happen even when they probably shouldn't. It's this latter type of determination that may explain Green Lantern, a movie that feels like it was willed into being by its producers rather than having any intrinsic reason to exist.
- The fact is, very few people who don't have a favorite comic book shop were calling out for a Green Lantern live-action film to be made. As a headline from The Onion joked, "'Green Lantern' To Fulfill America's Wish To See Lantern-Based Characters On Big Screen." Part of the problem is surely that GL has always fallen into that uncomfortable divide between A- and B-list heroes. Sure, he's on the Justice League, but hasn't his moniker corresponded to at least five different human alter egos? He also has a pretty poor rogue's gallery, exemplified by an arch-nemesis whose name and mustache suggest he should be tying women to train tracks in The Perils of Pauline. And don't even ask about GL's aversion to the color yellow. Let's just retcon that weakness out of existence right now.
- Still, there are aspects of the Green Lantern mythology that could have been creatively adapted to the big screen. For one thing, he belongs to a military organization of superheroes who are essentially the policemen of the Universe. For another, he can basically create whatever he wants just by thinking about it. And then there's the fact that GL regularly deals with aliens and other worlds, both of which could have made for an exciting set of off-Earth adventures. Unfortunately, Green Lantern squanders all of these possibilities, instead choosing to tell a story so dull and predictable that it comes across as a filmed version of the Green Lantern wikipedia entry. The most famous GL is Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds). Check. Hal has a love interest named Carol Ferris (Blake Lively) and a best buddy named Thomas (Taika Waititi). Double check. So Hal also has daddy issues, a nephew, and a penchant for quitting? The film touches all of these bases in a painfully perfunctory fashion, completely failing to convince that Hal is anything other than a jerk with a ring.
- While the story and writing are Green Lantern's biggest problems, they're not the only ones. The villains, whom I'll tersely summarize as some malevolent galactic smog and a guy with a big head (Peter Sarsgaard), are somewhat less than intimidating. The CGI, while never great, is really no worse than the film's dreadfully dark color palette. The music is standard superhero fare, nothing that you'd remember ten minutes after hearing it. Sadly, the film's greatest entertainment may come from how its actors react to being in it. Reynolds correctly realizes that he was cast for teen appeal and acts accordingly. Lively delivers a performance that inadvertently makes her last name into an ironic joke. Tim Robbins and Angela Bassett both appear lost, as though even they aren't sure what they're doing here. Clancy Brown, Geoffrey Rush, Michael Clarke Duncan, and Temuera Morrison all seem happy enough to be heard and not seen. Sarsgaard tries to have some fun chewing scenery, but there's only so much you can do with a nerdy encephalitic. The highlight is certainly Mark Strong as Sinestro, who quickly demonstrates that he should have been the bad guy of the piece even though his only foray into villainy plays over the end credits. To quote another Onion headline, "When You Are Ready To Have A Serious Conversation About Green Lantern, You Have My E-Mail Address."
- In the film's only smart decision, it does not refer to Thomas as "Pieface," which is surely a racist term, even if I'm not quite sure how.
- Carol Ferris' callsign is "Sapphire."
