- Superman Returns! As the prelude titles inform us, everyone's favorite Kryptonian (Brandon Routh) has been off sifting through the rubble of his home planet for the past five years. But now he's on his way back to Earth, zooming through the cosmos to the familiar sound of John Williams' iconic theme music. Upon his arrival, we are surprised to discover that the world has more or less gotten by without him. His mother (Eva Marie Saint) looks older than ever, but she's still managing the Kent family farm in Smallville. In Metropolis, Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) has completely moved on with her life, becoming a mother to young Jason (Tristan Lake Leabu), whom she raises with her live-in fiance, Richard (James Marsden). Of course, it's her Pulitzer-winning story entitled "Why The World Doesn't Need Superman" that really has The Man of Steel worried.
- Unfortunately, Superman's problems aren't limited to bad publicity and stale relationships. While he was away, the dastardly Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey) entered the Fortress of Solitude, stealing a set of crystals that react strongly(!) with water to produce...much bigger crystals. Villain that he is, Luthor intends to utilize these alien devices to hatch a land speculation scheme that will kill billions of people, somehow netting him a fortune in the process. Even the trial run manages to cause a citywide blackout while wreaking havoc on a shuttle carrier aircraft that, you guessed it, happens to have Lois Lane as a passenger. Fortunately, our hero takes this opportunity to announce his return to the world by dramatically saving the plane in one of the film's more visually impressive sequences. Still, it's not obvious how he'll stop Luthor, and it will take more than a single superpowered rescue to win back Lois Lane's heart.
- Whatever else the film may be, Superman Returns certainly feels a lot like the old movies. Sure, Kate Bosworth is less compelling than Margot Kidder and Lex Luthor isn't as fun as he once was, but Brandon Routh is as exact a substitution as one could imagine for the late Christopher Reeve and the film is obviously meant as an affectionate homage to the originals. The story, too, has an incredible degree of continuity with the old films, right down to the oddly real estate-focused plot that is strongly reminiscent of the 1978 film. While impressive in scope, this imitative approach also ends up being the greatest weakness of Superman Returns. If Metropolis has changed in five years without Superman, that's nothing compared to how superheroes have changed since the last decent entry in the Superman franchise more than 25 years ago. From Tim Burton's revolutionary reworking of Batman to Bruce Timm's brilliant animated treatment of the DC Universe to more recent film incarnations of Dark Knights, Iron Men, and Watchmen, it is no longer enough for a man to fly without a compelling story to propel him. While Superman Returns takes a slight risk (that never pays off) by introducing Lois Lane's super-child, the rest of the film sticks solely to the old formula, presumably hoping that nostalgia will fill in for the lackluster writing. It's as though Bryan Singer and company took Jor-El's advice literally by having the "son become the father." What the franchise really needed was some new blood.
- Basically astronomers are responsible for Superman leaving Earth for five years. I guess it would have been worse if this film had accounted for time dilation, as the first one did.
- Ma Kent has a dog that looks like Krypto, the Super Dog.
- I didn't mention Frank Langella as an excellent Perry White, Sam Huntington as an ordinary Jimmy Olsen, Parker Posey wasted as Kitty Kowalski, and the late Marlon Brando plus CGI as the late Jor-El.
