- In my library sits a copy of the book "Enigmas of Psychical Research," written in 1906 by a man named James Hyslop. More intriguing still is the sticker on the inside cover that informs the reader that this particular copy once belonged to the library of Caspar Weinberger, the United States Secretary of Defense who served under Ronald Reagan. Now I'm sure there are plenty of perfectly respectable reasons that Mr. Weinberger might have owned this book, but I'm always going to imagine that it had something to do with the secret paranormal military programs depicted in the goofily entertaining The Men Who Stare at Goats. Like the title card says, "More of this is true than you would believe."
- Why would men stare at goats, you ask? To kill them, of course. And why would men want to kill goats? Because the man who could kill a goat just by staring at it is an obvious military asset. On second thought, maybe it's not that obvious. I suppose that either the enemy would have to consist of an army of goats, or that the technique would have to work on humans, too. By raising such questions, however, I've already been far more skeptical than any of the characters in this film. After all, these are people like Gus Lacey (Stephen Root), who thinks he killed his hamster with a fatal glance. Or General Hopgood (Stephen Lang), the hardass military type who (unsuccessfully) runs through walls. Ultimately, all of this oddball philosophy originates from the hippie-turned-soldier, Bill Django (Jeff Bridges). By founding what he calls the New Earth Army, Django hopes to make the U.S. "the first superpower to create super powers," which pretty much tells you all you need to know.
- While most of these characters seem fairly innocent, there are also diametrically opposed forces of good and evil clashing in the psychic military. The perpetually intense Lyn Cassady (George Clooney) is the closest thing to a hero, refusing to kill any more goats after his first apparent success. Although Cassady is adept at psychic feats like "cloud-bursting" and "remote viewing," his abilities amusingly fail to extend to safe driving. His arch-enemy is the dastardly Larry Hooper (Kevin Spacey), whose rather meager psychic talents are compensated for by his heartless approach to psychic warfare. Reporting on all of this madness is the remarkably credulous narrator, Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor), whose own life is so disorganized that psychic faith actually has some appeal for him. By teaming up with Cassady, however, Wilton is thrust into the middle of a war that involves kidnapping, private security gunfights, LSD, and, of course, goats.
- The characters in The Men Who Stare at Goats are so absurdly charming and the cast so strong that, in one sense, the movie seems fated to succeed. And succeed it does when Jeff Bridges busts out laughing halfway through the now-tired drill sergeant bit just before ordering his outfit to dance. Or when George Clooney recounts how the fearsome "Death Touch" of legend once killed a man...eighteen years after it was administered. Unfortunately, these great moments accidentally illustrate that this was a potentially great movie dragged down by a merely mediocre director. While Grant Heslov doesn't make any truly disastrous mistakes, he unfortunately seems like the least enthused person in the entire production (with the possible exception of Ewan McGregor, whom I assume was cast for the "Jedi Knight" jokes). When you imagine somebody like Stephen Soderbergh at the helm of a movie like this...well, you don't need to be psychic to guess how great that would have been.
- This was inspired by John Ronson's book of the same name.
